


I See You

by Writer_Geekgirl



Series: Castiel and Dean: A Roommate Love Story [17]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst and Humor, First Kiss, Hiking, M/M, Weather
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 20:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18506512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Geekgirl/pseuds/Writer_Geekgirl
Summary: Dean and Castiel get stuck in a rainstorm. Dean and Castiel make some confessions to each other.This work is part of a 30 Day OTP Challenge prompt series. The stories are inspired by a different phrase each day but the short vignettes will all tie in together and weave a larger story. Each story will be standalone (for the most part).The prompt for the day is: First Kiss





	I See You

Dean and Castiel were hiking on a trail at the Redwoods State Park when the sky started to drizzle. Castiel had wanted to do something outside, and although Dean much preferred sedentary activities like watching movies or working on cars, he went with Castiel because he wanted to spend time with him.

Dean was already halfway through his summer internship. He dreaded returning to Kansas in the fall. He'd gotten so used to being around Sam, Jessica, and Castiel that the prospect of returning to his dorm room was depressing. Dean wasn't sure he enjoyed even studying mechanical engineering any longer. When Sam had graduated from high school and didn't need Dean to support him any longer, Dean had decided to go to college as well. While Sam had a full-ride to Stanford, Dean had a much more modest opportunity at Kansas State. His mother had died when he and Sam were young; his father when Dean was 18. Dean hadn't minded putting off college for Sam, but he was at loose ends after Sam left for California. So, he decided to go into mechanical engineering like his father. Unfortunately, his whole experience at Roman Enterprises had left him less than satisfied with his career choice. 

The walk through the heavily wooded trails was unlike anything that Dean had ever experienced before. Being from the flatlands of Kansas, he had never had the opportunity to be on the fringes of mountains like this. The gigantic redwoods were amazing. Around every curve in the path, he stopped to take a new picture.

Castiel smiled at him indulgently every time Dean stopped him for a selfie. He grinned at Dean, "You used to tease me about selfies."

"What can I say, you rubbed off on me," Dean responded.

Castiel snorted and said, "You just wished I rubbed off on you."

Dean rolled his eyes. Castiel was continuously flirtatious, but whenever Dean felt like they were about to do something significant, Castiel would dodge it with a joke or just act oblivious. Dean hesitated before being more blatant in his attempts to push the envelope on his relationship with Castiel. He always felt Castiel was one step away from running.

The light drizzle at first wasn't concerning. They both had windbreakers on and hiking boots. Castiel carried a backpack with snacks and water for both of them. Dean had offered to carry it but Castiel had insisted. 

They were about three miles into a five-mile hike when the rain came down in earnest. Both of them were drenched and their teeth were chattering. Castiel looked concerned as he looked for a place for them to hole up until the deluge stopped because the trail had gotten slippery.

Castiel finally found a rock outcropping that, when combined with the emergency tarp in his backpack, provided some relief from the rain. The two of them huddled under the tarp, watching the rain fall around them.

Castiel solemnly said, "I'm sorry, Dean. I checked the weather before we left. The front must have gone more south than they said."

Dean through his chattering teeth said, "Not a problem, Cas. I don't melt."

Castiel looked at him concerned. "Take off your jacket." Castiel slipped out of his, while Dean removed his. Castiel shoved them in a corner. He pulled out a silver emergency blanket and wrapped it around both of them. Dean stopped chattering. Castiel was like a furnace. 

Castiel rubbed Dean's back, "That better, Dean?"

"Thanks, Cas. I didn't know the rain could be so cold here. You think sunny California."

"It's a big state. There is almost every type of biome here, except tundra. It's not all like Southern California," Castiel said.

Dean slipped an arm around Castiel's waist and pulled him closer. "I like California."

Castiel scrunched his face and looked like he was considering saying something. In the end, he didn't. He just looked quietly outside the tarp.

"What are you thinking about, Cas?"

A brief smile flickered across Castiel's face. "Do you really, really like California, Dean?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean l like the people that live here. The weather's pretty good." He huffed a small laugh, "Most of the time. When it isn't trying to drown us."

"I shouldn't say anything," Castiel murmured. 

"About what?"

Castiel looked thoughtful. "It's not really my place." He looked at Dean in consternation. "Really, it's not. It was a mistake to mention anything."

"You're killing me here, Cas."

Castiel closed his eyes before saying, "If Sam moves back to Kansas, it will only be to be home with you. Jess would probably follow him. She's it for him. But she's a California girl and I don't think it would make her happy. Sam doesn't want you to be alone though. Really, I'm meddling where I shouldn't. Sam will be very displeased with me."

"Would Sam like for me to stay in California?"

"I can't speak for Sam," Castiel insisted, "I've already said way too much."

Dean stared intently at Castiel. "Would you like me to stay in California?"

Castiel opened his mouth and shut it again. He quietly said, "My preference should be of no concern to you."

Dean used his thumb to rub Castiel's cheek. He whispered, "Your preference is a big concern to me."

Castiel sighed, "I'm not relationship material. I can't make it through an entire conversation without trying to deflect it to something humorous. I'm broken, Dean. I'm not right for you."

"You don't get to decide what is right for me, Cas," Dean responded.

"I'm not loveable, not the real me. You see the image I want you to see. I'm a chameleon. I become what the people in life want me to be."

Dean held Castiel's chin and looked intently into his eyes, "I see you, Cas. I see a man who's been hurt by his family and people he trusted. One who wants everyone to think that he's fine, even when he isn't."

"You don't know me, Dean," Castiel whispered.

"I do."

"No, you don't, because I don't know myself. I go through the motions because I'm too stubborn not to. My best friend is a kid I helped with math and his girlfriend. My only close friends. I have people constantly moving through my life, thus the selfie board, but nobody sticks. I duct taped myself to Sam because he felt safe. He missed you, and I used that to make him care for me. I manipulated him." Castiel looked away.

"Oh, Cas. Sam loves you for you. Jess too."

"Dean…"

Dean kissed Castiel tentatively. Castiel was rigid at first but then relaxed against Dean. The kiss was almost chaste but the emotion between the two hit a crescendo as the thunder started to sound outside of the tarp. Hail started to bounce down. Dean pulled back reluctantly, "This isn't the best time for me to be starting this. You can't really escape me right now if you don't want this."

Castiel surged against him, kissing more passionately. They fell back against the ground, Castiel half on top of Dean. Castiel stopped after a moment and said, "I want this more than you can know, Dean. I'm just not sure I can have it."

"What's stopping you, Cas?"

Castiel pushed himself back into a sitting position. "You need to go finish your college degree. You leave in six weeks."

"I don't have to, Cas."

Castiel looked outside the tent, "Yeah, you do. Dean, I'm not sure that I'm capable of a relationship anymore. I might be willing to try, but you can't give up your dreams on a maybe. Get your degree and we can talk about this again."

Dean frowned, "I don't know if I want it."

"I won't stand between you and your future," Castiel looked stonily outside the tarp.

Dean sighed. He knew what he wanted, but he knew he couldn't push Castiel more. He leaned into Castiel, pressed his lips against his forehead, and wrapped his arm around him. Castiel relaxed into him. Dean was patient. Everything that was worth having was worth the wait.


End file.
